updated by mommy on my 5 years 4 weeks and 1 day old.
I am having a problem with Darren. Well, I don't really know is it a problem but it is bothering me.
Darren loves to imitate/follow what other people do - in the areas that he is interested. I know kids love to imitate and follow the peers but the problem is, he loves to imitates things that is not "suitable" or right for him to do. Example:
1. He will only go to lessons/schools that he has someone he knows and he likes is there.
Example: He is willing to go this school because his cousin sister is there. He is willing to go the enrichment class because his another elder cousin sister is there. Now he is requesting to change the time of the lesson because his good friend is attending that session. I asked what if his cousin sister stop that classes, will what he do? He said he wants to stop too.
I sent him for music classes last month but he wasn't keen and kept resisting to go. Reason? He has no friend there. Even he has developed some friends there during the 2 lessons, he was still not interested because those were not the people that he like. He asked to attend the baby class because his younger twin cousins are there.
2. During the holiday, my nieces came to our house and stayed for few nights. They have long hair and always put a towel over their shoulder after they wash their hair. Darren follow suit. Not only that, he even insisted we tied his hair like them UNTIL TODAY. He will always go to the kitchen and asked for rubber band and ask my maid to tie his hair. When I told him, boys don't tie hair. His answer is, I want to be a girl.
3. He has a playground buddie who is 4 years older than him and always wear a singlet to the playground. He has one "oversize" singlet and he insists to wear it everyday because "he wants to look like Ivan kor kor"!
4. We have a "spoil" handphone and he treats it as his handphone. He always imitate daddy how he talks on the handphone. Not only that, when he sees his aunty has a cover for the handphone, he will look up and down and find a cover that looks like it and put on his handphone. Next day, when he sees my niece use a hp pouch instead and he insist I buy a handphone pouch for him too. He just like to imitate the adults on what we have.
5. When I park my car, he always ask me to park "like yi yi SY" (diagonally parked). If not, he will ask me why I don't park like daddy? When he plays his car, he always park his toy car like yi yi SY or daddy..exactly the same...
Above are mostly actions that he follows/imitates..comes to phrases and languages...worse..examples:
6. He learns to talk like an adult. He always follow/imitate the way we talk, the words we use.
Example 1: When he wants to video call his grandma in MSN and grandma is not free, grandma will suggest to do it at night. He will tell his grandma
"I am not free tonight, ok? I am very busy. I have work to do. Do you believe me? You think first, do you still want to video call with me now? You think. If not, I won't talk to you anymore. You think now, ok?"
Of course grandma did not give in and he ended up putting down the phone and started crying.
Example 2: When we order him to do things, we wil count 123 and ask him to do it. He will do it back to us when he asked us to do things for him.
That's why people said we have to set a good example, or else, we will be seeing ourselves from them.
My problem here is, sometimes he will use back all the words on me but he didn't really know what is the actual meaning of it and he insisted to use those words. Sometimes I am speechless when I try to explain things to him but he ended up following my words but not understand the actual meaning of it.
Consolation is the things that he imitates are not those really "bad actions" or "bad words". It is just that those things/actions he follows are not really suitable for him..just like tying hair or trying to wear the pants like skirts (put 2 legs in one side)...
Are your children like that too?
2 comments:
Lol*
Ryan is in many ways like Darren! Especially when it comes to the talking part. I just wrote a blog about what he said to me a few days ago...and you are right, I guess many times kids this age probably don't realise the meaning of alot of things they imitate.
About Darren tying his hair like his cousins...no pic ah>>?? I can imagine. Well, kids. Impressionable! I think I was like that too when I was that young.
We as parents just ahve to advice them what is right and wrong in terms of copying from other people.
i think hopefully its a stage. gibran imitates that way too sometimes (wants to follow his cousin nabeel.. wants to talk juz like H..) but i try to tell him that its ok to have his own preferences and not to follow ppl. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. i guess all we can do is to keep trying to make them think independently and hope that some day they'll realise it on their somehow.
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